2nd last day of our anniversary week ^^ It’s been a really busy week for us haha. Ainushi is currently recruiting translators to help me translate mob, because the chapters are really long and time-consuming to translate.
It’s definitely not because the BL vibes is draining my hp >< If you’re interested in joining us, contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org Please save me! D:
Chapter 14 – Even if you want anything else, nothing comes to mind, you know!?
Editors: Yoong & Puissansa
First published on Ainushi
「Well… That’s why I don’t have a good impression of the academy, and why I don’t want to enroll.
Besides, I basically don’t really want to get involved with nobles. Ah- with the exception of Kei-san and Ani-san though.」
When I timidly looked at the 2 of them, I noticed that their expressions were stiff and dark.
Aah~ as expected, I went overboard. Even though I know they are nobles too… just (provisional) though! But, they are most probably nobles. Having said that, we are tea-drinking companions and their status doesn’t matter, but it’s difficult to ask the question now anyway, isn’t it? I don’t regret it though.
Kei-san, who was staring at the floor with his head down, said.
「Are those the only reasons why you don’t want to go to the academy? The way the academy is run, or the attitudes of the nobles… if there’s anything else, tell me!
It doesn’t have to be about the academy either, I will be grateful to hear Az’s feelings about your daily life.」
Nn? After making such a dark expression, you want to hear more!? Is he a M…no- no, it can’t be, it can’t be.
Kei-san smiled wryly and sighed when he saw my blank expression.
「I rarely have chances to speak to others, especially when it comes to people outside of nobility – you could say I have never spoken to them.
The things I’ve heard from others are also not nearly as frank as Az’s. That’s why I want to hear your opinions, if possible. It doesn’t matter what it’s about. I want to hear it no matter what it’s about since it comes from Az.」
He really…. has quite a high status, doesn’t he? A high status even amongst nobles, huh?
Is there anything I can say to someone like that? No!? What I said just now was only because I snapped. Honestly speaking, I don’t even remember what I said!!
「Before that, Ani-ue, can you give me some time?」
Ani-san stood up from his seat to get permission from Kei-san.
After Kei-san acknowledged, Ani-san came towards me and kneeled down.
….He kneeled!? What’s he doing? This person. While I was panicking alone, he stared at me with a serious look. Just what the heck is it?
「Az. Firstly, let me apologise. Sorry for just now.
I was at fault. I prioritised my own selfish desires and hurt your pride. This is by no means an excuse, but I didn’t intend to do that. I just wanted you to remain in this country. When I heard that you were going to Tournons, I unintentionally… But, I know it’s an inexcusable act. I’m really sorry.」
It was a truly sincere apology. Can a noble, and one with a particularly high status at that, lower his head so easily? No, I’m sure it’s only because it’s Ani-san. It’s also because he was truly apologetic. While thinking so, I suddenly smiled.
I stood up from my seat as well, pushed it aside and kneeled before Ani-san. I looked into his eyes as I replied.
「I’m sorry too. I unintentionally snapped at your words, and along the way ended up venting my frustrations, even though it is something unrelated to the two of you. I should be the one apologising.」
「Aah, aah…it’s fine. No problem. I’m the one who’s actually at fault. I thought I made you hate me.」
「No way! I think Ani-san is a good person after all!
I just got slightly offended? I might have snapped, but I don’t hate you at all, you kno- gufuu!」
I was tightly hugged in the middle of my sentence….I think. I didn’t understand what was going on in that instant because of the force and strength. All I knew was that my nose hit something and it really hurt, and the painful pressure constricting me. While I was in pain and agony, I was abruptly assaulted by a floating feeling.
I was carried by Ani-san over to the edge of the bed like this, and lowered onto Kei-san’s side. It all happened in an instant, so I couldn’t quite grasp what happened. Ani-san sat on the opposite edge of the bed from Kei-san. A gishi sound came from the bed….I don’t think it broke, though.
What the heck is this….this situation. I’ve said it again, this line. It keeps popping up in my mind!?
「Ani-ue! Sorry for the wait. Please continue the previous conversation.」
I raised my head to look at Ani-san and saw him smiling. Kei-san on the other hand was smiling somewhat bitterly.
「It wasn’t that long. Don’t worry about it. Az, sorry.
I’ll apologise for my brother’s words as well. I’m really sorry.」
He bowed deeply as he apologised, giving me a shock.
It seemed to have surprised Ani-san as well.
「It’s fine! Don’t worry, really. I got mad unreasonably and ended up venting my anger so we are equal. That’s why, raise your head please!!」
When I said that in a panic, he raised his head. I inhaled. Having incredible ikemen who were also high nobles, kneel before me and bow deeply to me is really too much for my heart to handle. Please, stop.
「Az is really magnanimous. We took advantage of your kindness this time. Well then, it might be abrupt but shall we continue with our conversation?」
It really was abrupt. Well, I didn’t want them to worry about it though so it’s fine. But even so, what should I talk about? Is there anything I can say? Being told that so suddenly, I can’t think of anything to say. I think my current posture is one of the reasons for that though. After all, Ani-san is holding my hands for some reason.
Even if he knows that I’m 12 years old, he probably can’t see me as anything other than a 8 or 9 year old. It’s kind of shameful.
「You don’t have to look so worried. If you just happen to think of something….even if I say that, it’s too vague, isn’t it?
U~n. Do you have anything else in mind related to the academy? Or even the state of the streets or country?」
Ani-san probably couldn’t bear seeing me troubled and lent me a hand. Academy, nope. I didn’t enroll so I only know things I heard from others. U~n, commenting on the streets and the country sounds rather grand. Is that something you could ask a child? No, but my mind is that of an adult so it’s alright. They might want to hear the views of a child though.
「Academy, no. If you are fine with me sharing my personal point of view, I’ll talk.」
After I said so with a sigh, Kei-san nodded countless times with gleaming eyes.
….I definitely didn’t think Kei was cute right then, in any way.
「It’s really just my personal point of view, okay!?
This is just what I heard from others, but when you enroll in the academy, you have to take an oath towards the King…right? To use what you learn in the academy for the sake of the country.」
It’s just what I heard, but it seems to be an unconditional oath. Whether you graduate or drop out from the academy, the oath will still be in effect, forever. There seems to some kind of magic involved in the process, but I don’t know the details. I tried asking what would happen to those who break the oath, but they wouldn’t tell me.
The 2 of them exchanged glances and nodded. So it was true. It’s really scaryyy.
「I don’t want to make such an oath.
“Using it for the sake of the country”, it’s such an ambiguous oath.
What comes to mind first with this oath would be that it means helping out during emergencies, or to support the country and defend it… These are to be expected and I can accept them. But, it’s not just that. How should I say it… This oath gives me the impression that the oath bearers are forced to work for brass of the country, including the King, for anything conveniently labelled as “for the sake of the country”.」
How should I say it to convey the message… it’s ambiguous, which makes it hard. To put it simply…. I don’t want people to take advantage of it? There aren’t only good fellows in the world. There are heaps of wicked-hearted people too, especially the leader of this country, who seems frightening.
Above all else, Asnord of Koihana was sentenced to death because he carried out the stalking horse noble’s orders. Who would want to end up in a similar situation!? Even if my lord is the country, for example, I will definitely refuse. The greater the authority, the more dreadful it will usually be.
「Good humans are not the only kind of humans out there. Bad fellows and idiots won’t use their authority properly. Unfortunately, I don’t have a good impression of the nobles in this country and I don’t trust them either. It’s not like I know all the nobles, and the stupid ones are probably only just one portion of the nobility….Aah- I do trust Kei-san and Ani-san though!」
Seeing their eyebrows form the 八 shape, I added on in a panic.
I wonder why…. I feel like I can see dog ears on their heads. Tails as well. Nah, just my imagination.
These 2 are no longer expressionless. Really, you wouldn’t think that they are the same 2 I met.
「On top of that, I want to use my strength for the sake of what I want to protect. As long as it is precious to me, even if the country considers it “evil”, I will use my strength to protect it.」
「Even if it means having the country as your enemy?」
I turned towards Kei-san when I heard his quavering voice, but he was not showing anything on his face so I didn’t know what he was thinking. I heard Ani-san gulping from the side.
「Even if it means having the country as my enemy. Even if the country, the King, chief authorities and the citizens consider it “evil”.
But, don’t misunderstand, I will properly consider the reason why they find it “evil”. I won’t blindly protect it just because it’s important to me. Even if it’s important to me, I will listen to the reasons for it to be considered “evil” and think about it. Depending on the reasons behind it, I might even end up not protecting that important thing. But, I think the reason will have to be something quite substantial for me to forsake it. I’m so indecisive, aren’t I?」
My eyes met Kei-san’s for a short while and the one to turn away first was him, sighing as he did so and he covered his face.
「Come to think of it, that’s how Az is like. When we first met 4 years ago, that was the feeling I got too.
When he helped me, a stranger with grievous wounds, I asked him what he would do if I was actually a criminal, and he calmly answered that he would help me even if I was. When I asked why, he said that “it’s annoying to consider that when I’m trying to save someone” and that I didn’t seem like a bad person.
What he said after that was pretty interesting too. After helping me out for the time being, if I really were a criminal without any acceptable reasons for committing the crime, he’ll bring me to the police station by any means necessary. I remember laughing when I heard that back then.」
As I watched Kei-san raise his head with a smile, I got a subtle feeling. Is it really something that funny? Did I say something weird? U~n, if I helped someone dangerous recover and end up exposing the people around me to danger, I can’t just leave it alone. I would have to take responsibility. If you say I’m naive in my risk management, I have no excuse.
Well, I did it because it seemed fun, isn’t it fine?