More funky stuffs happening at home.
On the brighter side of things, I just started FFXIV. It’s only a 30 days subscription but we’ll see how dedicated I feel. If it’s one thing I’m not into, it’s paid subscription for games. It requires a lot of time and dedication especially when you factor the upkeep. If you happen to be in the Japanese servers, do ping me 😀
2-6: I Became a Mother
First published on Ainushi
Several hours later, I bathed Jill after we had finished dinner. Now I was back in my room, putting Jill to sleep. Oh, right! Today’s dinner was also a success. It was certainly rewarding that there were no leftovers.
While Leonard-sama had said it was fine, I intended to sleep together with Jill every day. When I thought about it, it was hard for children of her age to sleep alone.
Though I said that, I didn’t intend to let her fall asleep at the same time as I was.
「Okaa-san, aren’t you going to sleep?」
「I am. I just have a few more things that I need to do. Can you sleep alone?」
「Yeah, I’ll be fine. Good night, okaa-san」
「Good night, Jill. Sweet dreams」
I kissed Jill on the forehead which made her laugh, and she soon began to fall asleep. Yup, she looks like an angel in her sleep. She’s seriously adorable.
After asserting that Jill was asleep, I sat at the desk.
So that I wouldn’t disturb her sleep, I only lit a small lamp and took out a notebook that I had purchased today.
Well, call it a diary or an observation notebook, I thought of having something to jot down on.
「Today, we went shopping」
Jill was excited and curious about everything. I carefully jotted all those things down, concluding with today’s reflection. I don’t know what others write in their childcare notes but it’ll be better if I jot everything I learned so that I could seem more like a mother for Jill.
I want to keep being her mother for as long as Leonard-sama wishes. Naturally, it’s another matter if someone better suited comes along.
But for now, I don’t want to leave Jill. Jill is the embodiment of the happiness that I abandoned. Even if I’m dreaming, this is the future happiness that I had given up. That I can’t have. I don’t want to part with this darling being that calls me “mother”.
At first, I didn’t think much about working for a magician… But as I spend more time with Jill, I started to feel grateful towards Leonard-sama. I’ll do my best tomorrow too.
「I love you… Okaa-san…」
My heart warmed from the happy murmuring in her sleep. Ah~ I feel so blessed.
「I love you too, Jill」
I’m sure I’ll have a gentle dream tonight. Such was the hunch I had.
「Leonard-sama, I have a favour to ask of you」
The next day, after breakfast.
Today, it seems there wasn’t any work for Leonard-sama so he was on the sofa reading. When I called out to him, he looked up from his book. Yup, he was also good looking today. He was glowing.
「What is it?」
「Yesterday, Sid-san mentioned that you could make something so that I can use the devices in the house」
As if he was saying, “I see”, Leonard-sama nodded his head and beckoned me. Meekly, I approached him and he took my left hand, gazing closely at it.
「I can operate the magic stone in the kitchen without a problem but I can’t use anything else besides that」
「Mm. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that」
「No, it’s my fault for not saying it earlier」
Leonard-sama stood up, still holding my hand and started walking.
Um, could you let go of my hand? It’s embarrassing… Come to think about it, this is probably the first time in this world that I’ve held hands like this with a guy besides my father and brother.
「I’ll make it for Lily」
Yeah, I’m seriously glad that Sid-san isn’t here right now. He’ll tease me again. It’s great that he took Jill to the garden.
Although he treated her lightly when they first met, Sid-san looks after Jill. At times like this, he’s really helpful.
Oh, that’s right. I must ask Leonard-sama a bunch of questions like what kind of studies he wants her to do and how does he want me to amuse her.
Before long, we arrived at Leonard-sama’s room on the second floor. I have only been past his room. This would be the first time I’m entering it.
「It’s a mess」
When he said that, I took a look around the room… Yup, it was certainly a mess. However, I didn’t really dislike the messy feeling. The bookshelves that were messily cramped with books, the papers that were etched with magic circles scattered about on top of a large desk or the pot that was stuffed with medicinal plants hanging from the ceiling. There were a lot of mysterious things. Indeed, it had the impression of a magician’s room. There wasn’t a bed though. I wonder where he sleeps?
Oh, there’s another door at the back. I see. That must be his bedroom over there.
「Is this your workspace?」
「Mm. Try not to touch anything」
「Yes, it’ll be dangerous, wouldn’t it?」
It must be awfully troublesome to deal with as everything seems scattered about. Even so, is it alright for me to just look around?
Urgh, somehow this sort of room makes me nervous.
As I looked around restlessly, Leonard-sama voiced out.
「… Is it unusual?」
「Ah, I–I’m sorry」
「It’s fine. But it’s strange」
「Mm. You’re not afraid」
I didn’t understood what he meant. However when I stared back blankly, Leonard-sama raised his eyes and looked directly at me, meeting mine.
「Even though you don’t have any tolerance towards magic, you’re not afraid. Why?」
「It’s always puzzled me. Even when we first met, you weren’t afraid」
Though I understood he was asking me why I didn’t fear an『association to magic』but I still didn’t understand what he meant.
After all, I am not afraid.
「I could easily kill you, Lily」
「… But you wouldn’t?」
As he couldn’t understand, I smiled bitterly at Leonard-sama.
「There’s no need to fear someone that clearly understands how their powers work」
The people you should fear the most in this world are the people that hurt others without thinking.
Naturally, people who intentionally hurt others should be feared too. However, people who do it unconsciously are a nuisance because they are not aware of it.
How pitiful, she doesn’t have a mother.
Those were the cruel words that were thrown at me so often in my past life. I never thought that I was pitiful but they just arbitrarily decided that I should be pitied.
Hence, I don’t want to hold prejudices against others. Even if people with a lot of mana are at risk of losing control of it, I want to see them for who they are instead of avoiding them out of fear.
After I spoke about the subject, Leonard-sama didn’t move and remained silent. Mm, what am I going to do? He was still holding onto my left hand though.
「You’re amazing, Lily」
「Most people are afraid even if they knew but Lily, you are not afraid even though I’m touching you」
With the tips of his lips curled up into a faint smile, Leonard-sama muttered those words. I wondered why I couldn’t say a word. Even though there were all sorts of suitable interjections I could have said like “Of course” or “Is that so?”.
「I’m really glad it’s you, Lily」
「It’s not just for Jill’s sake. Thank you for coming here」
His warm voice conveyed his feelings more than anything else. I wanted to tell him that I was glad to be here as well so I put more force into my left hand. It was the best I could do to express myself.
A kind master, a cute daughter that yearns for me as her mother, and it goes without saying, a reliable co-worker. Just look at how blessed I am! I couldn’t ask for anything more. Right now, I’m happy.
「I’m also glad I came here」
Leonard-sama merely smiled gently at me. This moment in time would later give me strength whenever I was feeling down.
When I stared back at him, Leonard-sama muttered back.
「Ah! I have to make a magic tool」
「Yes, that’s right」
That was my miss. I completely lost sight of my aim until Leonard-sama mentioned it.
Though Leonard-sama. Why are you wracking your head? Also, shouldn’t you be letting go of my left hand by now.
「Yes, what is it?」
When I meekly responded to him, Leonard-sama slowly lifted my hand until it was at eye level… Eh, what’s with this pose?