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The Mail That My Lover Sent is Strange.

Author :Ninja no Satou


Synopsis:

The Mail a certain woman sent to her lover and the report that an alien with the plan of invading Earth had written got mixed up and became strange.

Raw Link


War Photographer Shou left his lover Aoi behind in Japan and travelled to the conflict zone.
Left behind all alone, day after day, Aoi who felt lonely every single day, decided to write a mail to Shou.
Its contents are as follows.

Nyan
*****
To Shou.
From Your Beloved Aoi.

Are you doing well? You haven’t caught a cold, have you? How is the weather in Palestine?
I’m doing fine.
It’s been 3 months since Shou left, right?
When Shou left Japan, it was still snowing, but it’s already the height of spring here in Japan.
It’s getting hotter day by day, and the cherry blossoms have also fallen, the signs of summer feel like they’re getting stronger.
Ah, it seems they’re going to hold a spring festival this time.
I want to go together with Shou…
I’ve learnt a single dish since Shou went.
It’s Nikujaga.[1]
Carrots, Onions, Beef; at first, I ended up making a mistake with the quantity of Mirin[2] and it became too sweet, but now the Nikujaga is so good that everyone says it’s delicious after eating.
When Mom was eating it the other day, and “Delicious! You’ll make for a good bride! Shou-kun sure is a lucky guy!” is what she said.
Come home quickly to eat my Nikujaga!
Also, my colleague Yui-chan is getting married this time.
I‘ve also have been invited to the wedding that’s going to be held six months from now, I’m really looking forward to it from now on.
But Yui-chan seems to have become beautiful and happy ever since her marriage has been decided, and seeing her makes me feel just a little bit jealous.
Hey Shou. Let us quickly get married too!
Let’s invite everyone, Dad, Mom, my younger brother, our friends and have a happy wedding!
Shou says that he’s fine, but I’m so worried and worried about you that I can’t bear it. I spend my nights too crying.
Stupid Shou! Why do only I have to worry?
Come home quickly and make me feel relived.
I want to feel Shou quickly. Hug me tightly and lightly kiss me.
If you don’t, then I’ll end up becoming someone’s else’s woman……?
I’m joking.
But still, come home quickly, will you?
Finally, till you come back to Japan, surely obey the following 3 things!
First, if you think it’s dangerous, run away immediately.
Second, properly eat nutritious things everyday.
Third, remember me every single day.
Hey
ho
I’ll always be waiting for you.
I love you more than anything.
Aoi.

*****
*
*
*
At the same time, somewhere deep in Japan’s mountains, Ralrun from the planet of Nubedov, that was planning to invade earth, was writing a report to the Commander in Chief.
Ralrun strongly advocated to 『Commence an All-Out Attack on Earth Right Away and Bring Mankind to Ruin』in the report.

However, due to a computer virus and by accident, Ralrun’s report and Aoi’s mail got mixed together.

Because of that, the mail that reached Shou became somewhat strange.

Read only at ainushi.com
***

In Palestine

Shou : 「Oh, A mail came from Aoi. Let me see it right away. What’s it about?」

*****

To – My Dear Lord[3] Shou.
《Hm? It’s somewhat formal.》

From – The Earth Invasion In-Charge Ralrun Aoi.
《!? What the hell happened, Aoi!》

Are you doing well? You haven’t caught a cold, have you? How is the weather in Palestine?
《Ah, Ahh. I’m fine. Thank you. The weather’s clear in Palestine.》

I am a worm.
《Worm!?》

It’s been 5 years since Shou left, right?
《It’s been 3 months!》

When Shou left Japan, it was still snowing, but it’s already the height of spring here in Japan.
《I-I see. It’s already spring in Japan.》

It’s getting hotter day by day, that I feel it in my bones, and the cherry blossoms have also fallen in ten seconds.
《Just how hot is Japan!?》

The signs of the continent feel like they’re getting stronger.
《Is the continent approaching closer!?》

Ah, it seems they’re going to hold a bloodbath this time.
《Don’t say it in a light mood!》

I want to go together with Shou…
《I absolutely don’t wanna go!》

I’ve learnt a single dish since Shou went.
It’s Nikujaga.
《I see, that Aoi who was so bad at cooking did it…》

Carrots, brains, mankind,
《Oi, you’re putting in things that shouldn’t be added!!》

At first, I ended up making a mistake with the carrots and they were trying to run away.
《They gained legs!?》

The onions were killing each other, and the potatoes were slowly burned to death.
《What’s happening in you kitchen!?》

Now the Nubedov is so good that everyone says it’s delicious after eating.
《The Nikujaga!?》

When we were eating each other the other day,
《Who’s cannibalising whom!?》

Delicious! You’ll make for a good invasion force! Shou-kun sure is an eatable!
《You intend to eat me to!》
Is what she said.
《Don’t simply toss out such words smoothly!》

Come home quickly to eat my Nikujaga!
《I don’t wanna eat it!》

Also, my colleague Yui-chan is imprudently getting married this time.
《Ah, I see……Imprudent? Even though they got along so well.》

I‘ve also have been invited to the all-out attack that’s going to be held six months from now, I’m really slow from now on.
《……What’s the all-out attack for?》

But Yui-chan seems to have become beautiful and happy ever since her marriage has been decided, and the hammer of justice!!! Will reduce her to ashes!!!
《She suddenly snapped!?》

Hey Shou. Let us get quickly dissect Yui-chan!
《Haven’t you decided something horrible!!》

Let’s invite everyone, Dad, Mom, my younger brother, our Friends and every single worm haunting this planet and slowly kill her!
《Just how much do you hate Yui-chan!!!》

Shou says that he’s fine,
《I haven’t said a single word about it!!!》

But I can’t bear it. I spend my nights too repeatedly dissecting humans.
《FUCKFUCKFUCK!》

Stupid Lord[3] General Buglatt!
《Who’s that!》

Why do only I have to have glory?
《I don’t know!!!》

I’m lonely! I wanna quickly engage in the bloodbath!
《I give up! Stop it!》

If you don’t, then I’ll end up coming to where Shou is !?
《Eeek》

I’m joking.
《Thank goodness ……》

Come home quickly and make me feel relived.
《Aoi must surely be emotionally unstable. It’s a little bit scary, but it might be better to go home after all……》

I want to feel Shou from above the satellite orbit quickly.
《That’s far! Too far!》

Hug me tightly! And lightly kiss me!
《It’s impossible from outer space!》

If you don’t, then I’ll end up becoming a genocidal bomb……?
《What!?》

I’m joking.
《It doesn’t sound like a joke anymore!!》

But still, come home quickly, will you?
《I get it! I’ll come home!》

Finally, till you come back to Japan, surely obey the following 3 things!
First, if you think it’s dangerous, launch immediately.
《What should I launch……》

Second, properly reduce continents to ashes everyday.
《I can’t! If I did it, then the world would end in six days!!》

Third, remember me every single day.
《Can I even forget!!!》

I’ll always be waiting for your despair Ralrun.
《I can’t understand a single thing!!》

I love you more than Mirin.
《What are you comparing me with!!!》

Missile Aoi
《Your stage name’s very strange!!!》

Shou, who had finished the letter, hastily decided return back to Japan,
And had a reunion with Aoi.

The End



Hasr’s Random Ramblings
(For all those who can read moonrunes, there’s more!)

Another story in which Shou and Aoi feature 「Let’s Part」
http://ncode.syosetu.com/n5940dw/


T/N –
1. Meat and Potato Stew.

53CAFEEF-A91E-4A83-B90F-CCD1DFC1487F

Food for thought. ^^^

2. A type of sweet rice wine used in cooking.41F789AD-329A-46C5-A721-3AEE1F05EBD6If you can’t see the photos, maybe you’re just not reading at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu?

3. Raw says dono (殿). It’s an archaic way of calling someone, similar to –san.

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