Quality Check: Kittsune
First Published on Ainushi.
“Doctor Yu, how is she doing?” In the midst of a haze, I heard an anxious yet familiar voice.
Dr. Yu explained my present condition in detail. “Elder young master, Miss Shi’s body is showing signs of physical rejection after experiencing such a shocking psychological experience. It’s not very serious. As long as she has time to recuperate, she’ll recover very quickly.”
I slowly opened my eyes, and the first thing to greet my vision were the bright mirrors on the ceiling. I was still trapped in this stifling cage. The corners of my mouth curled up bitterly.
“You’re awake? Does your body still hurt?” The first person that noticed that I was awake was Zhao Yi Xuan, who had been watching over me from the bedside. When he saw me open my eyes, he immediately asked me with worried concern.
What a hypocritical phony! I forcefully jerked my head away, not wanting to look at him.
“Ai…” After sighing, he stood up. He then gave me a long silent look from the bedside. Then, he left.
I was the only person left in the room, and the quiet room was deathly silent.
Mama Yu walked in, quietly sat down beside the bed, and gently stroked my head with her palm. “Miss, set your heart free. If you truly love the young masters, they will feel your feelings for them one day and they’ll release you.”
“What about my parents?” I asked hoarsely. They didn’t hurt my family while they were punishing me, right?
“Your family has already returned to Jiayi, and they don’t know what happened. The elder young master lied to them and said you left on your honeymoon with Zhao Yi Xuan to Japan, so they returned home feeling at ease.” Mama Yu told me little by little.
“Mama Yu, will they let me go?” Clutching Mama Yu’s warm hand, I asked fearfully.
“Definitely! They absolutely will!” Mama Yu gently consoled me, but I could see in her eyes that she was lying.
There was no escape!
The days passed one after another, and I remained in this narrow, cramped room. There weren’t any clocks in this room, so I could only depend on how frequently Mama Yu sent me food to roughly estimate time. In the flash of an eye, half a year passed.
Every day, they came here to toy with me and humiliate me. Sometimes they would even use some strange objects. Ever since the day I was married, I had been naked the entire time, and I was never allowed clothes again. My body was always covered with bruises and hickies and bites. By this point I had already been reduced all the way to the point of being an exclusive piece of property.
Meanwhile, the pain very slowly disappeared to a far away place, and my heart died all the way through.
Whenever they left, I would always quietly stare at the mirror on the wall. There was a strange yet familiar woman in the mirror. Her long hair messily dangled behind her and reached as far as her thighs, which was erotic in a disheveled sense. She had delicate eyes, ears, nose, and mouth on a face the size of a palm, and her skin which barely saw light year-round was almost translucent. Her slender and delicate body was naked, and her skin was covered with bruising hickeys and all sorts of various marks left over from lovemaking. There were thin metal shackles on her wrists and ankles, and her neck bore a metal collar.
I always looked at this reflection in the mirror and asked myself, “Is this me?”
But nobody would respond, and I didn’t know the answer either.
I had already sunk into the quicksand of this eternal nightmare, and I couldn’t cast it away. I couldn’t wake up.
Was this the outcome I had been searching for? Was this everything I wanted to treasure? Was this the future that I had been working so hard for?
I abruptly remembered Yan Bo Nian, and suddenly I hated him. I hated how he had told me such deep and moving words at the time.
What was love? Was it something that made you suffer?