Chapter 54 – [Epilogue] Zhao Yu Xiang’s Diary #2
Quality Check: Kittsune
First Published on Ainushi.
Dad and Papa both went to Japan for a business trip. Because time was tight, and Japan’s weather had already turned very cold, Mom didn’t go since she doesn’t like the cold. Even though they would return tomorrow night at the latest, I was very happy because I could spend a day with Mom without being interrupted.
Mom even made dinner for me. This was my first time eating Mom’s homemade cooking. Her culinary skills are really amazing, and it’s not any worse than Grandma Yu’s who ordinarily does the cooking. I didn’t understand why Dad and Papa didn’t allow Mom to get close to the kitchen. Grandma Yu said it was because there were all sorts of dangerous cutting tools in the kitchen, so Dad and Papa were afraid of her using knives again. Later, I sneakily looked at Mom’s wrist, and I saw a very faint scar. Even though it was already barely visible, and she usually covered it with jewelry and things like bracelets, it was definitely present.
“Why did she try killing herself?” I asked Grandma Yu, but she refused to talk about it.
My guess was that it had something to do with not being able to escape from Dad and Papa.
Before we finished eating dinner, an unexpected guest arrived — it was my godmother, the CEO of Jue Shi Shipping’s European branch, Yan Shui Lin. I didn’t like her, even though I had only met her a few times and received lots of interesting toys from her every time she visited. This was because she looked at Mom with the same kind of look in her eyes as Dad and Papa. In the books, you could consider this gaze as ‘infatuation’.
Also, she’d even laugh and say I had an Oedipus complex , implying that Dad and Papa both had older sister complexes.
I hated her!
She said that she came to Taiwan for a business trip, and happened to come to see Mom while passing by. However, I always felt like when she came to see Mom, it was never coincidental.
When she heard that Dad and Papa weren’t at home, the excited triumphant look on her face made it look like she had won the jackpot. She declared with exultation that she would stay over at my house tonight.
So shameless! Always treating our home like it was her own!
But for Mom’s sake, I didn’t protest because I didn’t want Mom to think I was a rude child.
I could only angrily brew my feelings inside of me and curse her. I prayed that her company would go bankrupt sooner, that way she’d never be able to come for business trips in Taiwan again; I also prayed that she’d get married to an abusive husband sooner, who’d control her and leave her no room to breathe. That way she wouldn’t lust over other people’s wives or other people’s moms.
Ai… I’m such a pitiful child. All I want to do is cling to my mom and be spoiled. Is it really so hard just to feel my mom’s warmth and affection?
 Oedipus Complex: When a son has romantic/sexual feelings for his mother; popularized by the psychologist, Sigmund Freud.