The Contents of the Mail that the Earth Invasion In-Charge’s Subordinate Sent are Strange After All.

Nubedovian Ralrun, who had been entrusted with the task of researching about the Earth Invasion was disappointed.
The reason was that his 『Report Suggesting to Commence an Attack on Earth Right Away』was rejected, and not only that, he was also fired on suspicions of being a homo, and moreover, he was left behind on Earth.
Actually, the report that he sent had gotten mixed up with a mail an earthling sent due to a computer virus, and had become strange, but there was no way Ralrun would know that.

Ralrun, who had no understanding of the matter whatsoever, sent a Letter of Objection to his superior, General Buglatt.
Its contents were as follows.

#####

Dear Lord General Buglatt

From, Ralrun.

I shall get straight to the point.
I am absolutely unable to comprehend the contents of the notice of dismissal I received yesterday.
The reason is that after putting time and hard work into investigating about mankind till now, the proposal I put up of an Earth Invasion, was not only rejected, but moreover I was fired, and was left behind on Earth, what the fuck does this mean?
Within the disciplining letter, I was referred to as a rude and incompetent homo bastard, I have absolutely no understanding with regards to that too.
I respect Lord General Buglatt from the bottom of my heart. Even in the report addressed to Lord General, I paid close attention, and I wanted to be careful while writing.
I am not a homo in any manner whatsoever.
Even within the report, there is not one thing fake.
Even now, I believe that we must, before other planets beat us to it, take control of Earth.
Therefore, I shall once again make a proposal!
We must commence an all-out attack right away!
We must completely grill earth!
We must destroy their civilisation!
We must commit genocide on these inferior humans!
This abundant planet needs to be made ours!
We must silence the moderate faction, and set a precedent for galactic invasion in Planet Nubedov!
If we do so, Lord General Buglatt’s name shall remain for generations to come!
Lord General Buglatt!
Please make a decision now!
We must obtain the Universe!

Ralrun.

#####
*
At the same time, John, a foreign student who had been staying in Japan till a month before, sent a mail to his friend in Japan. He had written an energetic letter about 『Missing the Life in Japan and the Anime Theme Song CD he Wanted』

However, due to some trick of fate, just like the previous time, Ralrun’s letter and the foreign student John’s mail got mixed up due to a computer virus.
Due to that, the letter that reached General Buglatt became slightly strange.

*
***
★In Planet Nubedov.

General Buglatt: 「Hm? A communication from Ralrun came……That bastard, what does he intend to do this time?」

#####

Dear Lord General Buglatt.
《Hmph, it’s too late to curry favour with me now.》

From Well
《What the fuck happened to Ralrun!?》

I shall get straight to the point.
《What does the Well want to say!?》

I am absolutely unable to comprehend the Yamada san’s groping CD that I received yesterday.
《I haven’t sent such an obscene thing!》

The reason is that after putting time and hard work into investigating about mankind till now,
《Did he really research?》

The proposal I put up of an Earth Invasion, was not only rejected by Yamada-san,
《In the first place, who’s this Yamada!》

But moreover I was Purin,
《Aren’t you a well!?》

And was left behind on earth, what the fuck Purin Purin
《His way of showing anger is too disgusting!》

Within the disciplining letter, I was referred to as a rude and incompetent homo bastard,
《Exactly》

Let’s dance together!
《Who the fuck will dance!》

I respect Lord General Buglatt from the bottom of my heart as a pervert and an otaku.
《Bastard, aren’t you making fun of me!》

In the Poppin to Lord General, I Poppin close Poppin,
《It’s oddly satisfying!》

And I wanted to be careful Miso soup.
《What king of a miso soup is that!》

I am not Yamada-san in any manner whatsoever.
《I know that!》

Even within the report, there is not one thing fake.
《That’s the problem!》

Even now, I believe that we must, before other planets beat us to it,
《Is he gonna tell to attack……?》

Take control of cotton candy.
《We don’t need it!》

Therefor I ended up once again getting groped! HAHAHA!
《What’s so happy about that!?》

We must commence an all-out attack and dance right away!
《Is it a dance ball or something!?》

We must completely grill goldfish!
《Isn’t that just ordinary grilled fish?》

We must destroy their civilisation, so pah!
《Pah, your ass!》

Keep it a secret from well, Pu!
《Pu too, your ass!》

This abundant Hook Hook Hook Hook Hook Hook Hook Hook Hook Hook!
《Scary scary scary!》

We must silence the moderate faction,
《They’ll be silenced due to a whole different reason!》

And I want to eat Buglatt’s fresh Pentomper in crowded trains!
《Are you sure you aren’t a homo!!》

If we do so, Lord General Buglatt’s name shall remain for generations to come for sure.
《It’ll remain as a criminal!》

Ahh, Pervert Lord General Buglatt!
《Somehow, I’ve got a bad feeling!》

Please poppin poppin! Buglatt Purin Purin!
《Don’t throw me in your letter!》

We must obtain the energy and excitement!
《Is it a dubious seminar!!?》

From Fresh Well
《In the end you’re still a well!?》

General Buglatt, whose doubts about the virus spreading on Earth, resulting in an outbreak of a large number of homos were confirmed, did not turn the rudders of the spaceship, and ignored the letter while leaving behind Ralrun on Earth as is.

The End


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