Ch. 9 Things Got Out of Hand. We’re Really Getting Married.

Translator: Isabel

Editor: MochiMochi

First published on Ainushi.

 

“Are you able to kiss on the cheek, our newlyweds? We just had a couple who kissed on the cheek.”

 

Dae-Shik felt even more rushed at the salesman’s taunt. At the least, something stronger than a kiss on the cheek on the cheek needs to be shown to gain the last set of set of pork feet. However, the two of them of them were not a couple that that could kiss publicly. If they were to kiss, that would definitely be a shocking event to everyone.

 

“Instead of that…!”

 

Dae-Shik grabbed Ji-On’s wrist and pulled. While Ji-On was busy being startled as she was pulled, hehe lifted her up into a princess carry. Suddenly, Ji-On’s body was off the ground. She couldn’t help but become even more surprised. It had had all happened too fast for herher to resist. Dae-Shik continued his actions by starting to squat up and down.

 

On down, hehe shouted, “Overcome low birth rate!”

 

On up, he shouted,, “Honey, fighting1!”

 

He didn’t even eat that much cereal this morning, but he was as energetic as the cereal’s mascot tiger2.

 

‘What do you mean honey…’

 

Ji-On couldn’t stop her face from blushing. My heart is working hard today. I’m just thankful that my heart isn’t bursting from all this thumping. Ji-On tried to breath as lightly as possible because she was worried that he would hear her loud heartbeats.

 

“I’ll eat these these pork feet and try harder!”

 

Dae-Shik squatted down and stood up again while Ji-On was immersing in his overflowing energy. She was feeling the firm, chiseled muscles. She was feeling the sturdy strength that was lifting her up.

 

“I’ll show you my power! Just follow me!”

 

Dae-Shik shouted those phrases and went up and down a few more times before putting her down. Slowly, the audience who was watching this event started clapping one by one one by one. The surrounding people were already looking at them as an affectionate newlywed couple.

 

‘Wow, the husband’s really strong.’

‘It seems that they’ll not make just one child but even ten.’

 

‘Newlywed lass, there’s no need to be shy. It’s a good thing.’

 

Newlywed lass, wife, honey. Ji-On suddenly heard so many embarrassing words. What are these ticklish nicknames? Uhh, how embarrassing.

 

“Since you went this far, I can’t not give it, right? The last pork feet set set goes to our overly affectionate newlywed couple.”

 

Finally, Dae-Shik was able to get the pork feet he craved. He was able to receive the last set of set of pork feet. Julu-ruk3, sweat rolled down his face. Dae-Shik wiped the sweat with the back of his hand as he looked at the pork feet with a gaze filled with pride from laboring so hard to gain them. Bone is great. Thick bone is even better! You can see the thickness of the sturdy pork foot bone with one glance! So happy! While Dae-Shik’s smile was about to curve up to his ears, Ji-On’s face was still as red as a ripe persimmon. Th-this pigs’ feet-like bastard!

“You’d create a kid just to eat pork feet?”

 

She poked his side, gave him a sharp look, and whispered.

 

“Why? Am I eating this pork feet alone? I’m eating it with my owner. You eat the meat. All I need are the bones.”

 

When they arrived at the checkout counter, Ji-On’s heart was still producing drum beats. While Dae-Shik was moving items like a machine, she was unable to settle her beating heart.

 

Truthfully, today was very confusing. Starting from the unexpected kiss in the morning, it felt like my heart hasn’t been hasn’t been mine. I tried my hardest to act like I was fine, but I was very flustered when he transformed into a human inside my closed jacket, and when he hugged me to act like a newlywed couple.

 

Ah, it’s fine when he’s a dog, but it’s troublesome when he’s a human. My heart keeps skydiving. And the reason that I keep wavering…is probably because of his situation. He suddenly came in to live with me. Although we bickered all day about what to buy, in truth, we didn’t only buy things that were that were necessary for him.

 

She felt weird when he picked up the boxes saying that women shouldn’t hold heavy things, when he efficiently packed all the groceries in a box and was ready to go, when he sent a gaze that told told her to hurry while he was holding the luggage all by himself. He suddenly became an existence that was extremely close to her. His existence was too strange for Ji-On. Once they arrived home, Dae-Shik was on top of a chair changing the kitchen lighting. When did he see that the light bulb went out? And when did he buy the light bulb?

 

“Sung Ji-On, will you hold properly?”

 

“Huh? Ok.”

 

Ji-On looked up to see his firm stance while she held onto the chair he was standing on. There had never been a man who did these kinds of of things for her up until now. In a house with a single female, there was now a being who would do do grocery shopping with her, change her lights, and fix household issues issues together.

 

“Done. Ah, look how well the light turns on.”

 

Coming down from the chair, he repeatedly turned the light on and off. He had a refreshed expression, as if he had had fixed an old problem that he was stuck on that he was stuck on. The fulfillment-filled expression was even cute. Ji-On looked at him strangely as she acted like she was wiping the floor.  

 

After changing the light bulb, Dae-Shik went back and forth putting away the groceries they bought that day. I brought in a cute puppy, but now I’m confused as to what kind of being I had had brought in. He used to be a dog-pervert. And then he was the god of the the morning sun. He would be the annoying dog-bird that talked back to me. And then he was the god of water who dropped sexiness everywhere. He would be the prospective Ssireum wrestler who could even eat a table. And then he was the economics expect who ruined the store’s accounts. He would be an an instinctive lover of pork feet. And then he was the heartthrob who shook hearts just by holding boxes and changing light bulbs. He was a pro at making you fall for him with his flower bud-like laughter, or, or a-a dog-bird that is filled with beagle-like charm4 that you couldn’t win against. What kind of being kind of being are you? What are you that I feel you three dimensionally at every moment?

 

“Why, am I handsome?”

 

Dae-Shik, noticing Ji-On looking at him strangely, flipped his bangs with his pinky and spoke suavely.

 

“You aren’t joking, right?”

 

“If you couldn’t speak.”

 

Blink blink. A red light started flashing inside Ji-On’s head. This is dangerous. It is seriously dangerous to be focusing so much on him. I’m not sure for for how long, but I have decided to live in one house with him. I can’t leave my heart to continue continue thumping like this. Something big may happen later if things are things are left this way.

 

“Dae-Shik, come here.”

 

Ji-On sat cross-legged and spoke with a heavy expression.

 

“Why suddenly?”

 

Dae-Shik flinched from the change in Ji-On’s attitude as he was stretching out the Rakuraku. He walked to her.

 

“You, don’t come close to close to me so easily so easily from now on.”

 

These words just spilled out from her mouth. Starting from this morning’s kiss, everything became crazy. This afternoon, even though I was forced to act like a a newlywed, it might might have been my inner wish. It felt like, without me even knowing, my heart got dragged along and was now stranded and flopping around alone.

 

“What are you saying suddenly?”

 

Dae-Shik spoke with a frown. Why are you suddenly playing the victim? Sung Ji-On, you’re the perpetrator.

 

“Isn’t that what I requested of you before? Don’t touch me.”

 

As soon as I came out of the shower, Sung Ji-On, you came at me like Mechander Robo and kissed me. You’re the one who broke the rules first. The one who came at me trying to save her morning cereal was also you…  And that was was how we came to kiss as well.

 

“You’re the one who attacked me first. To turn me into a dog. Don’t you remember?”

 

And also, w, when we were going to the store, you were the one who put me inside your jacket. And that’s how the pure me, um, got got weird thoughts.

 

“I don’t care! It’s ok for me, but not you! I’m the owner!”

 

Ji-On sternly crossed her arms and spoke. You can’t just pull and hug me like that. Even though you might not feel anything, my heart flutters.

 

“That’s what I should say. I can, but you can’t!”

 

Dae-Shik also crossed his arms. You, yourself, shouldn’t recklessly come closer. Don’t put forth your power as the the owner every  time and respect the dog’s opinion as well. Like a Democrat.

 

“Then, should we cut the house in half? Here is the owner’s area, and there is the puppy’s area?!”

 

Continuing this way way may cause a separation like the division of Korea at the 38th parallel north.

 

“Are you a kindergartener? How can this be a a thought from the mind of the owner.”

 

Although the fight was a bit childish… the two were engaged in a fierce staring contest. You could almost hear the silent growls. Don’t want to lose in this fight for power. Grrrr. The two of them of them were exchanging cold auras when…!

 

‘Ding dong.’ The magical sound rang. The crisp sound of the sound of the doorbell echoed in the house. Gasp! I-it’s the landlady! The two people’s eyes both became round.

 

“Dae-Shik! We’re going to get caught if we continue like this!”

 

“Uah, what should I do?”

 

The two who were growling at each other had all of a sudden grabbed hands and jumped around like rabbits that had run into a hunter.

 

“Sh-should I hide in the bathroom?”

 

“What if she checks there? She uses it once in a while when their toilet gets clogged.”

 

“Then what to do?”

 

“I think a puppy is better than a man.”

 

There was no other choice.

 

“R-right?”

 

Ji-On spoke while grabbing Dae-shik’s face with two hands.

 

“W-we both agreed this time.”

 

The earlier situation where the two were growling at each other not to come close because worthless…

 

“Y-yeah.”

 

It hadn’t even been sixty seconds since they were disputing over over dividing the room when… they were going to touch lips again. Once again their faces started getting closer. Then, ‘chu’, the two plush lips overlapped. It was a split second, but it was still an unadaptable moment. His hot breath and super soft lips… it felt as if the moment had had passed by in slow motion so that she could feel all the details. The doorbell rang constantly, ‘ding dong, ding dong’, and whipped the two into action. There was a bloodsucking sound, s, shuup, and and Dae-Shik had turned back into a snowflake pomeranian from her kiss. Ji-On brought over the mysterious box that she had had bought from the store. She had thought up a camouflage tactic for moments like this.  

 

“Dae-Shik! Stay still!”

 

Ji-On opened the box and put puppy Dae-Shik insideside it. ‘Click’, the door opened. The landlady’s figure appeared with a tax collector’s expression of ‘I came knowing everything’.

 

“Young lady, why did it take you you so long to open the door?”

 

Her sharp investigator-like question caused the fumbling Ji-On’s mouth to freeze.

 

“Are you… hiding someone?”

 

‘Thump’, her heart dropped.

 

“N-no way.”

 

In the open one-room plan, the only place to hide someone was the bathroom. As predicted, the landlady first opened the bathroom to check.

 

“Wh-who would be here?”

 

Ji-On tried to hide her shaking heart and speak in a natural natural voice. ‘Hpp-’, the landlady’s hawk-like gaze scanned every every nook and cranny of the house. All the shopping from the market are in this house. So So is she living with a man here? So So where is that man? The landlady then then discovered the box. The secret item that Ji-On had had bought from the market.

 

“What is this?!”

 

“T-that’s.”

 

“It’s okay for me to open it, right?” The landlady who boldly opened the box… momentarily stopped breathing at the sight in front of her.

 

‘Gasp!’

 

Inside the box… were many white stuffed stuffed puppies. Stuffed animals that looked exactly like Dae-Shik. Dae-Shik was hiding smack-dab in the middle. Acting like he was a stuffed dog. Sitting stiffly and not even blinking.

Can-can’t get caught. Dae-Shik perfectly acted out a stuffed animal. ‘’Gyu~” All it required was a endlessly curious-filled expression exactly like the stuffed animals.  

 

“Th-this!”

 

S-so cute! It was a a cuteness that melted even the landlady’s freezer-like heart that was especially cold against dogs and cats.

 

“Ah, this is my side job. The stuffed animal eye–sewing alba5. Didn’t I sew them on well?”  

 

Ji-On asked while walking over to the box and pointing towards the round, black eyes of the stuffed animals. ‘Whoosh’ Su-sung Ji-On. Don’t create anymore trouble. I feel like I’m going to blink. Ji-On’s movements caused the stuffed animals’ furs to fly. The fur pieces caused Dae-Shik to almost ‘eh, eh, eh’ sneeze. As Dae-Shik exhaled and inhaled as he was about to sneeze…

 

“N-no!”

 

Ji-On forced a louder sneeze. “Achoo!” Uh oh! It seemed that even the landlady noticed something as she backed away from Ji-On’s loud sneeze. What’s that? Did that stuffed animal just sneeze?

 

“So, was there a reason you suddenly drop by?”

 

“Oh, about that.”

 

Thankfully, the landlady did not notice Dae-Shik who was doing his best to act like a stuffed animal.

 

“Young lady, what was the condition when you first rented this room?”

 

“This house… doesn’t allow men and dogs?”

 

The hawk-like eyes of the landlady found the shaver and shaving cream hidden behind the table and grabbed them.

 

“Then what are these?”

 

“Th-that…”

 

“I saw something surprising when I went to the market earlier.”

 

What? Ji-On was horrified. The landlady was at the market earlier? Thump, thump. It was as if a resonance was reverberatingreverberating. Ji-On’s heart and Dae-Shik-in-the-box’s heart raced. Dae-Shik’s heart could not calm down. She said she saw everything? Then how much did she see? All the way to our fake newlyweds show?

 

“Ah, let me explain. Let’s go outside to talk.”

 

Ji-On grabbed the landlady’s arm and pulled her outside.

 

“There are are only us two here. Why go outside to talk?”

 

“Just cause.”

 

Any sentence was required to fix the situation. If she really did see Dae-Shik at the market, this was a situation that required an extensive lie…

 

‘Click.’ As the front door closed, the stuffed puppy in the middle of the box started blinking its eyes. It shook its body as it squeezed out from among the many stuffed animals. It was Dae-Shik.

 

“Did that landlady really see us?”

 

Suddenly, the stuffed animals caved down. Dae-Shik flinched and looked behind him.

 

“Wow, that scared me.”

 

The stuffed puppies were all over the floor with their round eyes wide open. It seemed like each of the really, really cute dolls was a copy of Dae-Shik, and they were, and they were strewn everywhere.

“What the, why do they all look like me?”

 

Anyone who saw it it would have screeched a dolphin’s high pitch scream from the cuteness, but Dae-Shik grew angry. I’m this cute? There’s no way. I’m this city’s cool, classy man! There’s no way I could look this cute! He gave an annoyed kick at the stuffed animal. Just what is Sung Ji-On saying out there? It needs to be as believable as possible since the landlady witnessed them. Dae-Shik stuck his ear to the front door, but perhaps they were speaking far away, he could not hear anything. Ah, she’s not trustworthy. He nervously paced in front of the door as he waited for Ji-On. A while later, Dae-Shik’s tail automatically started wagging like a propeller as he heard herher footsteps. Oooh, hurry in, Sung Ji-On. Ji-On’s eyes had drooped down. What, what did the landlady say that the kid6 became this downhearted? What happened? Ji-On sagged to the floor against the door and heaved a sigh.

 

“Dae-Shik. Things got worse.”

 

Ah, what happened? Why did it become worse? Can’t even bark. Dae-Shik sat on top of Ji-On’s knees and whined to hurry her answers.

 

“The landlady saw everything earlier. She saw us going around as newlyweds.”

 

Gasp, what to do?! So, what did you say?

 

Were you unable to make up a believable lie? Were you unable to say anything?

 

“So…”

 

Whew, so….. So what did you say? Unable to say anything, puppy Dae-Shik paced back and forth while snorting. Ji-On devastatingly dropped her head and spoke.

 

“I confessed that we were newlyweds.”

 

Newlyweds? Puppy Dae-Shik’s jaw dropped. Then we have to go around acting like newlyweds from now on? What had I traded away just to just to eat pork feet? Dae-Shik wished to cradle his head and scream. However, that was impossible because his forelegs were short. Ooh, one set of pork feet has has messed up my dog life. Ooh, I was wrong. Ooh, I am sorry*.

* Bold means it was spoken in English.

 

“You know, about us.”

 

Once again, Ji-On’s dejected voice rang out. What. Ok, again. Hurry and speak. My heart’s quaking.

 

“We… probably can’t live in this house anymore.”

 

Puppy Dae-Shik froze on the on the spot. In the end, the landlady chose to kick us out? Ji-On broke both parts of the the condition. Dog and man. That was the condition and rule for renting this house. So, we’re being evicted? With the status of a pet, I boldly threw tantrums to the owner to buy me this and that, but… I never imagined that my owner would lose her house. Look here, owner person. Then what’s happening to us now? Are we going to have to wander around without a house or temple7?  

 


Translator’s Notes:

  1. “Fighting” is a phrase used frequently to cheer people up up and/or hype up one’s excitement. Similar to “We/you can do it” or China’s “Jiayou”.
  2. The cereal’s tiger mascot is probably Tony the Tiger from Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, but it would be an unpaid advertisement so the author didn’t include the name. American cereals are popular in Korea, as well.
  3. “Julu-ruk” is the sfx for liquid, commonly a single tear or sweat, rolling down.
  4. Beagle-like charm describes people who are are extremely hyper, excited, and possess possess happy emotions make everyone else watching happy.
  5. “Alba” is a shortening of “Arbeit” for Korean. “Arbeit” is the german word for work. It is also used by the Japanese. For Koreans, it meansmeans a part-time job most often offered to students.   
  6. Dae-Shik uses “kid” in an affectionate tone rather than a belittling tone.
  7. “Without a house or temple” is a phrase that refers to the homeless. A long time ago, the only two places where a person could eat and sleep were a home or a temple. So if you couldn’t sleep in a house or a temple, you were a beggar/homeless.
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