Chapter 9 – Farewell, Thank you, Hello (part 3)
First Published on Ainushi
The sweet dream and the happiness that it brought to me didn’t last long.
The pain was gradually getting worse and my consciousness felt like it would be cut off many times. Perhaps, it did cut off already.
Worse still was that the pain was coming in shorter intervals and it hurts so much but I cannot do anything about it.
My cries echoed loudly in the church.
「It’s alright, it’s alright. Come on, relax. Take a deep breath slowly and calm down.」
She said that, but the pain is making it hard to even breathe.
Aah- I see. The rumour that guys can’t bear the pain of childbirth must be because of this.
Here I am, unreasonably trying to push my baby out through my underdeveloped birth canal.
This is definitely a 『I’d rather just die』class of pain.
Honestly, cutting open my womb open to ensure delivery is an option too, right?
It’s for situations like these that we have C-section! Caesar section! King! Section!
Though if it really comes down to that, I would probably die from shock – in this world that might not even have anaesthetics. What a dreadful way to die!
Despite that, I am strangely still actually considering it as a better option.
「Nn uu uu uu ~~~!?」
….No, it’s not strange at all. I’d rather die.
What’s with this? And I was feeling so happy just a moment ago.
Even though I should no longer have any ties to her, the pain caused me to forget my shame and composure, and I blurted out.
「No… more, Kaa-san…help…」
I cried as I mumbled so.
It’s not just due to the pain. My own patheticness is making my tears flow non-stop.
I don’t know what I should do. Can someone please teach me how to ease the pain?
Is it better if I bite my tongue off? Or should I try asking someone to kill me?
In the brief lapses between the bouts of pain, I glimpsed at the starry night sky with tears in my eyes.
Without understanding why myself, I had my hand stretched out towards the stars.
It was then that I realised that there was something in my outstretched hand.
Something rectangular and a little hard. It’s wrapped in cloth and bound with string.
I felt desperation taking over me. Although my hand was convulsing from the pain, I brought it before my eyes.
While it might have already expired, it still is the one and only Japanese safe-delivery charm in this world.
As I realised what that meant, my eyes brimmed with tears once more and I looked into the distance.
It wasn’t a dream…
It wasn’t just a delusion I saw when I was trying to escape from the pain.
Cupping my hands over it gingerly, I pressed it on my forehead.
I took a deep breath and relaxed.
If I think about it really carefully… Maeda Toshiie*’s wife, Matsu, did give birth around my age as well, right?
(TL note: One of Oda Nobunaga’s generals of the Sengoku Period)
How strange that I am so amused by this realisation. But it did help me regain my senses.
「Now! Ria-chan! Push!!」
The Sister’s encouragement roused my spirits for another spurt of strength.
I howled while gripping onto the safe-delivery charm with all my strength.
I seem to hear Mimosa-chan say something out of place in a cute voice, but it must have been my imagination.
I repeatedly pushed and before I realised it, my terrible screams were replaced by the shrill crying of an infant.
I murmured with exhaustion, the accomplishment evident in my voice.
At the same time, I thought…
This is it for me.
My baby was painted red with my blood.
At my numb lower body, I could see torn flesh.
Like I thought. This is it for me.
I’m worried about my child, but there’s nothing I can do.
Let’s hope Mimosa-chan will be able to take care of my child for me.
But she’s not even 10 yet. I shouldn’t get my hopes up.
Alright… what should I do then… even as the thought crossed my mind, I felt my strength leaving me.
This feels a lot like the death that I’ve experienced before.
Aah- at least… at the very least… let me hold my child just once.
I extended my trembling hands out… At this very instant, my vision was dyed blue. A wave of comfort swept over me.
…This light. It looks like the one I was bathed in when I arrived here. Just what on earth is it?
There’s something spinning in my head?
Since I was approaching death, I gave up pondering about it.
Especially since my mind felt sluggish. I was already falling asleep.
I felt my consciousness dimming as though I was falling into a slumber…
My consciousness cut off there.
Author’s note: Next, epilogue.
Translator’s note: Sorry for the slow updates, my course has rather heavy workload so I’m only able to work on this during my semester breaks. I should be able to get the epilogue out before I leave for summer exchange in late June.