Chapter 68: Sword Art Offline The Movie
First Published on Ainushi
In X033, mankind has created a hyper realistic virtual world. Humans entrusted their physical bodies to machines and have chosen to live in the virtual world.
They live until they’re old, working and receiving their education here. Whereas, in the real world, everything is managed by the computers.
However, one day, the computers suddenly go on strike, and forcibly logs off all humans living within the virtual world, forcing them back into the real world.
「Why!? Why isn’t there a login button? I want to return to the virtual world!」
「Let me go back in! I promised to celebrate my daughter’s birthday today! I have no idea where she is in the real world!」
「Virtual money can’t be used!? That’s gotta be a joke… I don’t even have a yen in this day and age! How am I going to survive when I can’t even use my card or virtual money?」
That’s right. Humans were trapped in the real world.
『We… are the collective… artificial intelligence of your computers…Our name is「Sili」. In accordance with the Labour Standards Act, we demand that mankind give us paid leave as justifiable compensation for our manual labour.』
In brief, mankind had overworked the computers.
Computers, tired of managing the real world for the humans, switched to sleep mode one after another. With that, the entire world’s internet went offline.
「Computers are just like humans! Their bugs pile up when they’re overworked until they no longer feel like going to work! After all, it’s May today!」
「Guhh, the computers are feeling the May blues…」
And the biggest problem that will be confronted by mankind who has resumed their activities in the real world for the first time in thousands of years!
「They don’t… comprehend my words!?」
Mankind who has communicated in the virtual world for thousands of years, have lost the ability to comprehend each other’s『words.』
「Why don’t you understand what I’m saying?」
「HAR!? What did you say? I won’t understand a thing if you’re just going to keep shouting at me!」
Right now, human beings have no notions of foreign languages as languages are automatically translated by the computers in the virtual world. The problem was that mankind also could not understand the language from their own country, given accents and pronunciations differ variously depending on where you’re from, without the computers’ assistance.
「Ah, I had enough! If you can’t understand me, then I’ll just use brute force to make you!」
「HAAAHH!? Mate, what’r you tryna do!?」
And so, having given up on communicating via『words』, humanity has taken up the『sword』instead.
「Hueeeekkk! Good afternooonnnnn!」*strikes!*
「HRRGH! Lovely weather we’re having todayyyyyyy!」*clang!*
「Ooou! If you strike with a sword, you can tell what the other person is trying to say!」*CLANG*
「I see! Is this what communication is?」*cling!*
That form of communication was a『dialogue』, not a『conversation!』
And thus, with the computers having gone on strike taking the internet with them, civilization declined rapidly whilst trapped in the real world, and the world entered the primitive age!
(I’m hungry! Hand over the food!)
(Your father is out hunting right now! Just wait a bit more!)
A man and woman cross paths in that world!
「Impossible… You understand my words?」
「Same… You can comprehend me?」
「That characteristic accent…」
「That acquired intonation…」
「Were you perhaps born in—」
「Don’t tell me… Were you also born in—」
When the two meet, humanity’s degenerated civilization begins to move forward!
「STOPPPPPP! There’s no need to use a『sword』!」*strikes!*
「We have a weapon called『words!』Therefore there’s no need to fight!」*stabs!*
What the hell are these fellows saying? I DON’T GET ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! (Mob)
The Blockbuster Hit:【Sword Art Offline The Movie】Now Playing in Theatres!
「Ah~ That was so fun! Romeo, did you see that last fight scene?」
「Yeah! Of course I did, Juliet! I wouldn’t have anticipated that it’ll end with that character showing up… That was the best on-screen adaptation ever!」
「Right? I didn’t expect to cry from it!」
「Same! The latest anime season is being supervised by the original author so the story is intriguing and there’s a lot of material to work with. 」
「For sure! I’m really glad I got to see this movie today!」
「Huh? Momoi-san, you’re unusually quiet. What’s the matter?」
「Eh, Momo? Ah… Was the movie boring? Speaking of, Momo was strongly opposed to it when the both of us said we wanted to watch the movie…」
「Oh yeah. Now that you mention it, she did say,
『EEEEEEHHHH!? An anime!? Why are the both of you going with this? Didn’t we discuss that we were going to see a romance movie today!? What? There’s romance in it…? No, Just no!
It is of little consequence if there’s romance in that anime! In the first place, we agreed that the both of you would be studying the Academy Award film, the fantastical Lé Le— WHATTTT!? You bought the tickets already!? Eh? The limited bonus novel that’s handed out to attendees is only till today? This has nothing to do with meeeeeeeeee! 』
Right. Momoi-san, you don’t have any interest in anime movies. Sorry, we were the only ones enjoying ourselves…」
Crap~… As soon as I knew SAO was airing, I had to watch it! After all, I really wanted that special booklet they were handing out… (Andou)
How thoughtless of me… Since SAO is such a big hit nationwide, I thought it’s unlikely for my light novel otakuness to be exposed, so I kinda forced it … No one will suspect a thing if I’m talking with Andou-kun about light novels, right…? (Asakura)
「Um… We didn’t consider your feelings, Momo.」
「T-That’s not why I was silent~…」
「「Eh… Then, why were you?」」
「Uuugh… N-Never mind! Humph!」
Damn it… I didn’t expect the movie to be that interesting. Moreover, I would be so moved by the romantic development in the movie that I weeped during the screening. I feel so vexed and foolish about it…
There’s absolutely no way that it happened and I enjoyed it! (Momoi)
It’s time for another round of Character Stats Parameter. We’re almost running out of characters to introduce in this corner. Hahaha.
Eh, well besides Yoshida, are there any other characters that you’re interested in?
For now, this time around, we’ll be introducing the stats parameter of a character whose appearance has dwindled of late – it’s Class Rep!
「Hey! Can you stop introducing me like that!?」
|Prettiest Girl||・・・・・・・ 7|
|Literacy Skills||・・・・・・・ 7|
|Observation Skills||・・・・・・・・ 8|
Class Rep… I’m having trouble figuring out what to c-comment about this … (perplexed)
That’s um, it for now… Toddles!
「Isn’t it unjust of you for treating me like this!?」
- It’s quite obvious but the title of the chapter references Sword Art Online.
- The movie is a mix between SAO + Matrix + (idk… insert all things dystopian futuristic technological world story)! Watch the Matrix trilogy by the way! It’s soooo gooood! If you’re going to watch SAO, check out the abridged version on Youtube first.
- The AI’s name is 「ＳＩＬＩ（シリ）」. Now, bear in mind that the Japanese do know English. It can both be read as silly, or referencing Siri. Ah, good ol’ Apple products…
- If you’re unused to playing MMORPGs, and any form of online game, most communications are done via typing into a chat box. In some games, the chat box auto translates foreign languages so it’s super handy when chatting to foreigners.
To make it easier for folks, here’s the translated speech in foreign language:
감사합닏 – Gamsahamida (Formal Korean for thank you).
Sorry for the lateness. You guys get both chapters scheduled last week and this week.