Chapter 73: Not Just Your A-Typical Smile

Translator: Krrizis

Editor: 5d100

First published on Ainushi

 

「Thank you! Come again~」

 

Ah~ This part time job is so bo~ring! Seriously, what dumb luck! I’m single again, yet I can’t find a good guy to be with… and none of my girlfriends are prioritizing me over their partners… Man, I have nothing else to turn to but work! I’m holding two part time jobs, working at a cafe and this restaurant, just to earn money… it’s lifeless. (Waitress)

 

 *ring-a-ding♪*

 

Haa~ A customer’s here! Got to be on my toes and serve ‘em! (Waitress)

 

「Welcome~」 *wide smile!*

 

「Since we’re here at Saizeriya, how ’bout we settle for having our meal on the third floor?

「That’s an excellent choice! Saizeriya is a fairly renowned Italian restaurant, and the prices are quite affordable, so since we’re students, it won’t be a burden on our wallets.」

「Ahaha~ Sakura, what are you doing? You sound as if you’re a spokesperson for them~」

 

 Gah! Aren’t they the couple I saw last time at the cafe right in front of the train station I was part-timing at? Hang on! Why is there another woman hanging onto him!? And, those breasts… what the heck did she consume to have those!???

   Grr… When I look at those dangling in front of me, it reminds me how I was dumped by that jerk―― 

 

『 I can’t accept being with a girl that’s B cup or under. That’s my rule of thumb. Sorry…』

 

You fucking piece of shit, then we should have never dated from the start! Sure, it’s partly my fault too that I deceived you with the extra padding that I wore, but those words were uncalled for! Bloody fucks… The girl this customer was with last time was even flatter than I was, yet this time around, that plus one’s breasts are against the rules! Are you trying to pick a fight!? (Waitress)

 

「T-Three of you, right? Please sit over here…」 ← Expressionless

 

「Yes! We got ourselves a table!」 *draws closer*

「It looks like it’s just after the peak period, hence why there’s a lot more seats available.」

「When Saizeriya gets too busy, it can be awfully packed, and there are times they even split the tables up~」 *bounce bounce*

 

… Hmm? On second thought, what even is the relationship between that trio? It’s as if those two beauties are scrambling to fight for the affection of that dull looking guy sandwiched in between them by clinging onto him… Could it be..? An actual scene of carnage!? Even so, it’s surprising that both sides are just smiling pleasantly at each other… Hang on, that’s beside the point! Why the heck are those two pretty girls fighting over such an unattractive man like him!? I haven’t even met anyone new, yet… This world is just so freaking unfair!!! (Waitress)

 

I don’t know why but that waitress has been scowling at me since a few minutes ago… As I expected, when anyone else sees a man with two pretty girls clinging onto both arms, all they’ll see is what a fucking bloody philanderer. Even if I were to admit that I’m, in reality, just a nerdy『loner』, no one would believe me. Boohoo…   

 Now, as this is a four seater table, designed for two couples facing each other, I’m going to take my seat first and as long as Asakura-san and Momoi-san both sit on the opposite end…

 Phew~ My arms will finally know sweet release! (Andou)

 

***

 

【Ideal】

 

            Me

          Table           」Waitress

 Asakura, Momoi

 

【Reality】

 

 Asakura, Me, Momoi

           Table              」Waitress

             *empty*

 

***

 

「Have… Have you decided on your order…」 ← Expressionless

「Now, I wonder what should I order?」 *closes in tightly*

「………………」

「What shall I pick? I just can’t decide~」 *bounce bounce*

 

Why did it play out like this!? (Waitress & Andou)

 

I mean, isn’t this weird? Usually, it’s understood that the couple will be seated together; yet, with the three of us squashed in a couple seat meant for two, it’s not even their breasts that’s an issue anymore ! I can feel their entire bodies in contact with mine. It’s an ultra perilous situationnnnn!!!!! (Andou)

 

Alright, go dye! Not dye, DIE! This lady-killer riajuu bastard!!! AAAARRRGHHH! A popular guy like you shouldn’t show up at the restaurant I’m working in!!! I swear…  an asshole like you, isn’t going to get anyyyyy service out of me! (Waitress)

 

「For me, I’ll have the soft-boiled egg carbonara!」 *rubs tightly*

「I-I…I’ll have the beef stew omurice」

「I think~ I’ll have the hamburg plate set~」 *squish squish*

 

And as for me, this entire hour is going to be the start of a living hell. (Waitress)

 

***

 

「Thanks for waiting, here are your orders.」 ← Expressionless

 

「Momo, that’s surprising! I didn’t expect you to eat that much.」

「Yep, that’s true~ I can eat quite a bit~…

 You know, as they say, I’m still in my『growth』period~♪」 *BOOM*

「Ugh…」 *facepalm*

 

Well, I didn’t say anything about where all those nutrients are going~♪ (Momoi)

Why you wily fox… (Asakura)

 

「My, My, My… Is that so? It’s great that you’re still in your growth period, Momo~~ As for me, well look!

 Compared to you, I have a body which has none of those『useless fats』after all…」

 

It’s not like I pointed out where those parts were though. (Asakura)

Why this goose… (Momoi)

 

「He-Hey, both of you are just as equally splendid! Let’s just eat~」

 

T-To me, I think all『breasts』are just as equally gorgeous… I guess? (Andou)

 

「My, oh my, ufufu…」 *rubs tightly*

「Aw~ My dear Sakura… Right?」 *squish squish*

 

They’re even flirting after that fight… (Waitress)

 

「Okay, Andou-kun♪ Have some of this~ Open wide and say『aaah』♪」 *squish*

「Eh! Momoi-san!?」

「Wai――Momo! If that’s the case, h-h-h-here, this too! Y-Y-Y-Yeah!

 S-Say『aaah』……… for me?」 *rubs tightly*

 

And just when I thought the meal was coming to an end… (Waitress)

 

「Andou-kun? You know, I noticed earlier that you called Sakura by her name.」

「Hah!? I did?」

「Eh, Momo…Are you serious!?」

「Yup! Though, Sakura didn’t pay much attention to it then… (as expected…)」

 

Well, seeing as they didn’t really like standing out that much back then, I thought I’ll just withhold the penalty till after we had switched locations. (Momoi)

 

「Does that mean…?」

「W-Which means…!!!」

「Yup, bingo!」

 

「「The penalty!」」

 

「Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaa! How could I make such a careless mistakeeeeeee!」

 

Fufufu! After I’m done completely making fun of Andou-kun, and provoking Sakura, it’s time for Andou-kun to whisper sweet nothings to Sakura! Once she listens to them, she’ll forget everything I’ve done till now, and I’ll be right as rain! (Momoi)

 

「Now, go right ahead!」

「I-I’m ready whenever you are」 *thump thump*

「…………」 *thump thump*

 

Grrr! Just when I thought Momoi-san had finally released my arm, now this! There’s just no way out of this… I have no choice but to accept my fate. But『sweet nothings』? Does this mean I can say anything? Of course, how silly of me! It’s Asakura-san that I’m dealing with. Let just go with lines from that famous light novel! (Andou)

 

「Juliet… Maybe we really are two as one… I even feel a queer form of affection between us…

 And now, our fates have intertwined. They’ll disappear together as this ship explodes…………

 —-I……Love…………You. Juliet……………」 

 

「—–!!!」*The words are like an arrow straight to the heart <3 <3 <3!*

 

T-Those lines! Isn’t that the speech from volume 1 of that really famous light novel『John’s Bizarre Adventures』? In the last marital dispute between the hero and the heroine-cum-rival and last boss, Diolina; even though she was reduced to only her head, the hero who was on the verge of dying had announced,『Even if this is all that remains of you, I love you』, then they died together in the ship explosion, leading to this speech that led into Volume 2’s Hell arc. (Asakura)

 

「Er, Andou-kun…? Don’t those words sound like a death flag–」

「That was… the best! I can just die happy now!」

「–Wait, what? You’re good with that, Sakura!?」

 

「……………」

 

Flipping, flapping, Flocking showoffs!!! You’re all soooooo annnoyyinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!! (Waitress)

 

「Weeeeelllllllllllllccoooooooommeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!」

 

………… Hnn? Hang on, what’s this『Juliet』business all about? (Waitress)

 


Translation Note:

1) I’m not a Jojo fan so … it took me googling it in Japanese + the help of 5d100 to find the actual phrasing in the official English version to include. You’re welcome. *GASPS* Please don’t spam me with Jojo memes. I beg you!


Translator’s Note:

Firstly, for those not bothered by this translator’s note, PLEASE RE-READ LAST CHAPTER. Edited version is up, and also a missing line that I forgot to copy/paste from my original translation file!!!

It’s been a while. Sorry that I’ve been away too long. More things happened since my last post. Aside from an urgent bout of surgery due to my wisdom teeth issues—

(Oh! Never do an ankylosis teeth surgery without going under. The amount of bullshit that you hear in the surgery room as the doctors and nurses complain about hospital politics or even NOT having the proper equipments for the surgery is enough to cause headaches. Doesn’t help that I feel every inch of the pain as they try to dig my teeth out. Nope! Anesthetic doesn’t help with ankylosis as much as you think.)

 

— I then had a bunch of COVID scares due to the crazy increase of COVID cases in my state right around that period and flu season, coupled with lockdown, coupled with depression from coping with isolation (some isolation is okay. I’m an introvert. But I do need my family around and sadly, COVID has made it impossible as they’re in another state), and upkeeping my day job so I have food on the table. Adulting really isn’t easy when you’re single either and I don’t really earn anything for publishing LJ except my love for it. Sigh.

 

I have tried to start working on this chapter a few times. And believe me when I say that 5d100 has been patiently waiting for me to get my butt moving.

Example of every pokes per month, per week since we last stopped publishing:

 

 

Psst~ By the way, if there’s any single ladies out there! He’s so worth the catch for being this patient *winks!*

 

Whilst I was recuperating, I did spend time chatting with the author. Looks like Dexiai (Yes, he’s a guy, my baddddd), has a new novel published. Also, if you haven’t heard, sensei’s became a Vtuber as he’s been streaming his Pokemon and Among Us games on Youtube. If anyone wants to tune in to what he does and support him, leave a comment and I’ll link to his YouTube channel next time I post.

Anyway, more chapters for Valentine’s Day coming up. Also, there’s a few notes on several chapters. Mostly about the web novel and the published version, so if you want to read about extras or learn about the variations, check those out!

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